John: John's trip to the bank = "Mr Bean Meets Star Trek"

First it was the tour guide who gave me a hard time. Then it was the bank guard. 

Near the end of our walk, Julie said we should get some more cash from the ATM which was located in the wall outside the bank. I replied that because we all "know" the Mafia run Naples, they would have those devices that scan your credit card in the ATMs so I either go inside to make a withdrawal or we go without. Not a good choice. 

First the bank guard wouldn't let me in because an alarm had gone off THEN he wouldn't let me in because Securicorp had come to pick up the cash. Julie suggested we go somewhere else but I said no. An even worse choice.

Unlike Aussie banks, where you just walk through the door this bank had a round glass tubular contraption which was only big enough to hold one person, to get in and out. As you can see from the photos below of the rather tubby gentleman with the walking stick, there isn't much room inside this thing. There is even less for a gentleman of my dimensions carrying a bulging shoulder bag. Julie said she would wait for me outside. 

I waited for the glass door to slide open ... Nothing. The bank guard must have hit a button and then gaven me a gentle shove to push me in. There I was trapped inside this tiny glass tube thing. First reaction was to think of Star Trek where the characters step into a similar device and say,

                                                          "Beam me up Scotty!" 

to be whisked away to the mothership. This was immediately followed by a mild panic attack, why wasn't the glass door in front of me sliding open? It only occurred to me later that the door in front of me would only open once the door behind me had properly closed.

However, once I got inside the bank I had to deal with an ATM machine unlike one I had seen before and which only had operating instructions in Italian, and none of the bank staff spoke English. Anyway I got the cash withdrawing €300 which is what I wanted instead of the €30,000 (which I haven't got) which it looked like on the screen. Next problem to get back outside. 

I stood gazing at the door ... The good people of Naples were waiting for me to do something, and the bank staff were deliberately ignoring me. The bank guard on the outside was waving his arms around and Julie was laughing.

Anyway after another mild panic attack going through the glass tube I stumbled back into the street a free man. As you can tell by the photo below both the captor (the bank guard) and the captive (me) were both happy that I was safe and sound without personal injury or damage to property.